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By this time next month, my favourite friend, Olivia, will be leaving the city. As the weeks go on, she will have less and less time to hang out. This sounds so awfully crass to me, but it appears that this is the time I get to do two things: Today, though, is a Monday.…

This is an anonymous blog. Perhaps, that is not quite right. And maybe I want to know what is technically correct since that may help me write better, and more often here. This is a blog with a select few readers who do know who I am – of those, not everyone always has time…

I have finally moved into my own place. Well, it’s not my own because I live with a flatmate* I don’t know at all. We weren’t friends before this. We kind of are now. I want to stay here. I want to make this home. I’ve moved around a lot and I don’t like it.…

There is so much hate in the world. I see it all around me. Are the people on X, Instagram, and Facebook really all around me, though? I guess they are. Because that’s the world we live in. It’s a new world where the brave ones are not the ones on the side we want…

I don’t feel like writing. Here, or anywhere, sometimes. Who’s reading? Somehow, it matters to me that people are. Not who, just that people are. I don’t feel like playing games. Not much. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. Second-half Sunday anxiety around work is…real. It’s real. Maybe something needs to change. Something…

All these minutes tick by. 1:45. 1:46. A little headache there, a lot of heartache here. And you wonder, which misstep 11 years ago landed you here. Or was it always meant to be this way? The air conditioning is cold. So you seek warm hands and a warm heart. Seek? It’s not here. It’s…

This constant search for home, always remembering through little incidents and events and memories that home is not a city, but the people I truly meet in that city. One day I will have a home again. Or, at least, I hope I will. Because loneliness in some manner makes it feel like I’m dying…

That’s how long it has been since I last wrote here. Which it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long, because I have been air-writing something or the other in my head for this blog for almost each one of those last ten days. In the picture, you see a Barbie coaster I requested I…

I had 2 drinks the other night. It was after a long-enough time, and the next ones probably aren’t gonna happen anytime soon. Which makes the whole experience so bitter, cause even though I thought I’d be okay with having a third person join us two (Olivia and I), turns out that that totally killed…

I thought I finally learned to adult. But last weekend, I forgot to adult. And kept moving between the air-conditioned cabin of my car and the slightly-humid and overall hot weather in The Big City while looking at flats to rent with a new acquaintance. Rookie mistake. I also didn’t wear a face mask on…

Finished Atypical. The last episode. Ever. (Spoilers ahead) Sam said a lot of goodbyes-of-sorts. Casey had this episode just about her and I am still swooning over it. Probably my favourite episode in the whole series. Casey: And I feel like she knows herself better.And I’m… I don’t.I feel like I’m not supposed to not…

It’s been hard. I haven’t had a weekend “off,” in a while. Like, really, off. No traveling. No cute cafés. Just…a boring, relaxing weekend off. It’s catching up with me at work, at life, and…everywhere. I don’t want to mask. I don’t feel so social right now. I don’t want to do anything. I feel…

When I separated from my partner in late 2021, and then left what I called home for so many years in early 2022, I came up with a list soon after. Was it mid-2022? Possibly. So you see, it took me a few months, but I realised I needed a list to get better and…

I’m losing patience. When it was still a “maybe” with Nomi, I think I had a little bit of hope in life about finding a partner. I am glad it’s over. I am sad it’s over. I am angry it’s over. I keep thinking I’ll make a post on reddit about how this is a…

I don’t think I had intense feelings for you, ever. But I grew attached to you. And the hot-and-cold cycle made my brain an addict. And I thought I saw someone who could be a life partner in you. It was a shit-storm. A perfect one. This, despite telling myself that… I don’t know you.…

Give me a few days to unravel, untwist, unwind, lie down here? I met Nomi over the weekend. The play her theatre group did, I really liked it actually. It was frustrating to watch of course, because it took me back to my school days and “boys being boys,” and that was not fun. We…

vmb writes on her blog: They say it takes three months to get over someone. Huh. That basically means my summer is fucked. And, it just may be that that’s where I am headed. Olivia says it’s okay that my feelings towards Nomi are a mix of things, healthy and unhealthy, and not purely romantic…

I don’t know if this feeling of being exhausted will ever go away. I don’t know a life without it. It’s almost as if I can step out of it with some push, stay there for a bit, but then come crashing back down. That has been…life. Been going to the gym this week. The…

They’re breaking down the house next to ours to be able to build it from the ground up. It’s just one of those things, right? “The house is too old and the map isn’t great so let’s start over.” Annoying for me as most days work calls will be impossible. Or being able to focus…

friends can make life worth living. i know this feeling is temporary.until the heaviness of this life and keeping my eyes wide open kicks in.but it’s here. this feeling.and i am here.i’m cherishing it. 🎧 khai dreams & Atwood — Sunshine 1